Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Mean Mommy and the Meatball Vasectomy

So I don't even know where to begin. First of all, EVERYONE (except Max my 3 month old) hates me today. Including myself!!

Today was suppose to be a BIG day in our family. Nick was scheduled to get snip snip done. I'm excited about it, because I've already had four natural childbirths and I do NOT look forward to having anymore. So the first person to be mad at me is Nick:
Notice he's flipping me off
Nick is severely doped up at this very moment.  He can hardly walk when I put him in the car, he falls over into the drivers side as I slam the door on him. When I get in car he says to me in a half drunk tone "I'm gonna drive, I know how to get there." I say "Um...no you're not!"  

We take the kids to a friends house and we have 30 minutes to get to the appointment....and my car is on empty.  UGH!  So I race to the nearest gas station, fill up for 5 gallons and then zoom off to the urologlist office.  We get there just in the nick of time (pun intended...hee hee!) 

Nick is so out of it he sits down and I take care of registration.  While I'm up there I notice the Doctor's business card: 

Does that business card have some funny business on the top of it?  

I begged Nick to go in with him so I can see the procedure done.  But he said no. After he took care of business we started home.  But first we had to stop at the video store to get movies and video games for him and his two day snooze fest.  He is too "sore" to get up, so I go in to peruse the video game section.  I have NO clue what I'm looking for.  So I call Nick...several times...he doesn't answer.  So I pick out 2 games and 4 videos.  

Of course I picked out the WRONG games.  Oh well, he's too doped up to play, he's only in the mood to complain.  So after setting him up on the bed (See picture), I go get the kids and bring them home for dinner.
Notice bag of frozen corn

Well I've been preparing for not having time to make dinner, so I made MEATBALLS (pun intended AGAIN)in the crockpot.  Yes I see the irony. No one likes dinner (except me), Nick's too offended to eat and the girls are crying that they are going to starve to death, cause they hate it. By the end of dinner, Nick's passed out on couch, Evie's crying that she's going to starve to death.  Kamri's lecturing me on how it's not right to starve them and I'm screaming at the kids to be quiet and eat!

The only person who's happy is baby Max:
Happy baby Maximus

Now Nick is literally singing to the tune of the Beatles Yesterday: " Vasectomy, I'm just half the man I used to be, all my balls are falling off of me, oh vasectomy came suddenly."

Poor poor Nick.  Actually poor me, I'm gonna have to deal with his whining for the next two days!  

The kids are in their pjs, Max is in bed, Nick is on the couch and I need a glass of whine!!! (pun intended)


  1. Oh my goodness... I laughed so hard while reading this! They will only hate you till you have to feed them next. Hope it's not the corn...

  2. @Shel, no corn on the menu tonight...or EVER for that bag.

  3. I laughed out loud at the vasectomy song. :o)


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