Saturday, August 27, 2011

My imaginary super powers

So yesterday I went to a get a massage.  Normally I love massages, but this one was not enjoyable.  I won’t go in the details, I’ll just say there was a really hairy person involved and I could feel the hair…yuk!

As I was laying there getting this massage from this hairy person, I was thinking it would be GREAT if there was a telepathic massage therapist out there.  So that they always know where to rub, how hard and to get their nasty hair arms off my back...blaalla!

Then that got me to thinking what kind of super powers I would like to have.  This is my list.

Invisibility: This is an obvious YES and necessary to pull pranks on Nick.

Elastic body: Wow would this be handy in fitting into pre-pregnancy clothing, or unlocking doors, or becoming a human parachute if needed.

Faster than the speed of light: AWESOME!  All those time I’m late because would be a thing of the past.  I could speedily get everyone ready in a flash.

Super powers that I would not want, nor do I think would be helpful in anyway:

Flying: this seems helpful at first, but if you think about it, all the bugs and  birds you’d have to avoid while flying might be annoying, so I’ll stick to walking (or running really fast with my speedy ability). 

Freezing stuff:  The only thing this would be helpful for is freezing food quickly.  Which I can’t find a reason why I would want to do that.  Now a defrost ability that would be awesome because I’m always forgetting to get the chicken out for dinner.

Super Sonic hearing:  This is a tossup.  But ultimately this one is a negative one.  Think of ALL the people you could hear ALL the time.  That would just get annoying.  Plus hearing people talk about your back, ANNOYING!

Making time stand still:  I can’t see this being useful, if time is still then what’s the point?

Eating people’s brains to gain their abilities: Ultimately this is a negative one, who really wants to eat anyone else’s brains? 

Fire Power: I have a hard enough time not burning the house down by forgetting to turn off the curling iron or blow out candles.  I don’t need help with having the ability to set things ablaze instantly. 

Too bad I don’t really have a super power. If we could chose a super power that would be AWESOME!  My kids think I’m super and so does Nick, so I guess I have them fooled. 

p.s. if you have telepathy (and aren't hairy) you should consider a career as a massage therapist.  

photo credit here.


  1. Lol I love you! I think your super also! I'm totally with you on the super powers! Sorry your massage sucked. Thats one thing that should never suck!

  2. I do have a super power though...I make milk! take that dairy cows!!

  3. I just started following your blog and you are so funny. My daughter is 10 and we were cheep and just bought an egg timer for
    I can't wait to read the rest of your past blogs...


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