Friday, October 28, 2011

Another Shower Defiled.

So you may be aware of a previous blog post called I might as well buy Depends now. In which I peed all over the 24 hour fitness shower.  Well, it's sort happened again.

In order to tell this story properly, I have to start at the beginning. If you a  reader of my blog you know how I always talk about my FBB's   (read this post to understand).  My FBB's are my F*ing Big Boobs.  Well part of the largeness of my boobs is due to the fact I'm nursing.  However, Nick wants me to stop nursing.  We made an agreement that I would nurse until the baby was 6 months old (I honestly don't remember this conversation.) It proabably went something like this:

NICK: I think you should stop nursing at 6 months

ME: I think you should shut-up.

I guess he thought I was agreeing with him.

Today's the day.  Max is 6 months old today.  So slowly over the last few weeks I've been nursing less and less.  Yesterday I woke up at 4:45am and my boobs were the size of watermelons and as hard as a rock.  So I went and pumped.  Weird thing though, I only pumped 6 oz.  Normally I pump 10 ozs, and when I was done my right boob was still hard.

I decided I would deal with this problem later and go to the gym.  I went to the gym, when I got done I was taking my shower at the 24 hour fitness.  My boob was STILL killing me.  So I decided to take a closer look at it.  It appeared that one of the ducts was plugged with a chunk of milk.  I picked out the milk (more like I dug it out.....I think I actually screamed in the shower, but I can't remember if the screaming was in my head or if it was audible.)  As soon as the small pebble of milk was out my boob, it happened.  The water main broke....NOT the water main to the building.  To be more actuate I should say the milk main broke.  I don't have a picture to acurately describe what it really LOOKED like, but this is what it felt like:

It LITERALLY sprayed the WHOLE shower!!  I'm not gonna lie, it felt good!  But it was embarrassing that I have now defiled TWO showers at the gym.  Oh no, it wasn't the same shower that I peed in.  It was the one across from it.

It reminds me of that Robin Williams bit where he explains about cats and dogs owning things: (this youtube is a little crude, but so is this post)

So apparently I own two showers at the gym now.

Be careful, before you know it, I'll own your car!

p.s. Nick says this is a disturbing post.  I say "you married me, and that's a little disturbing in and of itself."

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