Tuesday, December 13, 2011

2011 Christmas Letter

So I'm posting our Christmas Letter online this year.  Mainly cause I'm being lazy and don't want to go to the post office with four kids.  This year’s Christmas letter is a poem that absolutely does not rhyme. It started out like T’was the Night Before Christmas, and ended up more like Dr.Suess. I hope you enjoy!

T’was a night in December when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring…
Except for mom
Who sat down to write this ridiculous poem.
All about this years wonderful things
All about what this past year brings.

The greatest achievement that mom had this year
Was having a baby bounce out of her rear
And what was dad’s achievement from this year past?
Making a job finally last!

Kamri is seven such a delight,
She sings and she dances all day and all night.
In the Nutcracker suite as an angel and mouse
And bounced right out of Mother Ginger’s blouse

Evie is five and a daisy scout
She goes to Kindergarten each morning with a pout.
However she’s the smartest kid, no doubt!
A sweet little cherub in the Nutcracker Ballet
Even though a word she wasn’t allowed to say.

Avery is three and thinks she’s the mother
As she tries to take care of her little brother.
In preschool she talks up a storm
And at home with her sisters she just tries to conform.

Max’s best achievement was being born
Since then on his head a helmet is worn.
To make his head not so flat in the back
And to protect him from his sisters attack

We’ve had such a wonderful year
And we wish you and your family much Christmas cheer!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

A very Humiliating Merry Christmas Party

This weekend was my husband's company Christmas party.  Let me just say, I'm glad there was a open bar.

This party was at the company owners home in Preston Hallow neighborhood in Dallas.  For those of you who aren't familiar with that area, it's a super posh area.  So posh that George W. Bush lives there.  This party was so posh the owner hired carolers to stand outside to greet the party guest.  So posh, there was a Christmas tree ice sculpture.  So posh, there wasn't just an open bar, there was a whole room the size of my walk-in closet, that WAS a bar.  A bar with cognac, whiskey, rum, burgundy every spirit imaginable. They served hors d' oeures, shrimp, prime rib. It was delicious!  This was the fanciest party I have EVER been too.  All that said...you know I don't write about stuff unless it's funny.

My husband, the wonderful crazy man he is, decides he's going to go to this posh party dressed as Buddy the Elf.  THANKFULLY party city was all out of the Buddy the elf costumes (thank you sweet baby Jesus).  So instead he decided to wear an elf hat, with elf ears and elf shoes, in his business suit.

Let's just say, I headed straight for the bar got myself a glass of wine, chugged it and ordered another.  Thank heavens I'm a lightweight. It only took one glass of wine to get me tipsy, two glasses to get me giggly, and by the three glass I had to sit down. (Nick cut me off because he was wearing his elf shoes that had no support and he didn't want to carry me wearing those shoes). By the third glass then I didn't care about what Nick was wearing.

Everyone commented about Nick's outfit.  His reply was "The invitation said holiday attire"  (it did say holiday attire, next year the lady's gonna put, business suite, Nick will probably wear a Santa Costume and say "My business is delivering presents. You didn't say I had to come dressed as me.) One lady even hit on Nick by saying "I'm sitting next to you on the sleigh ride." (you read correctly there was a sleigh ride to see all the Christmas lights) I thought "You go ahead lady, I'll have another white wine."

Nick told me he found out that he holds a quarter of all the sales for the company, so he could wear whatever he wanted to this party.

Me: How many salesmen are there, four? Cause that statistic isn't very impressive if there's only four.

Nick: No there are about 10 or 11, let's say 10 to be conservative.

Me: (smirk) 10 is conservative compared to 11?

Nick: Shut up.

Anyway, out of 11, let's say 10 so I can do the math to be conservative, he has a quarter of the sales this year. So between 10 sales men, they only have 4 sales each for the year. (out of 60 sales). Where Nick has 15 of those sales. (and he's only been there 1/2 a year)

Needless to say Nick was right, he probably could have walked into that party in a Buddy the Elf costume and the owner wouldn't say a word, cause Nick's the man writing all the deals for the company, making all the money!  Go BABE!!!  (I am still thankful that there wasn't a Buddy the Elf costume though.)

p.s. I would have taken pictures, but the coat man took my coat and I left my phone/camera in the pocket...so no pictures. But you can use you imagination!



Thursday, December 8, 2011

Magical Nook and Demonic Cell Phone

My Nook Book from Barnes and Nobles is magical.  Not, metaphorically speaking... it actually has magical powers.  I've witnessed these powers myself.  Every time....and I mean EVERY TIME, I work out at the gym (which is every weekday) and read my Nook, my nook does something magical. Somehow the music in the gyms magically becomes perfect background music for whatever I'm reading.  It literally fits together so well you would think that you were reading watching a movie.

This morning I was reading a scene from the book A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin, where two men were competing in a duel and the music playing in the background was the perfect amount of intensity that I was in genuinely sucked into the book.

I swear, it's magical!

Now on to my demonic cell phone.  Ugh!  I hate this phone with a passion. The other day when the girls were doing the ballet.  I had to take them to the theater and drop them off because I had to take Max to the doctor.  The Director has my cell phone number so I wasn't worry.  About half to the doctor the Director calls me.  I TRY to answer the phone, the STUPID phone won't let me answer it.  I hit the button, and nothing happens. I decide to call him back.  It appears when I place the call that the call is going through....but OH NO, it won't ring.  I can't dial out. I can't answer or dial.  I can however text.  So I text my husband (while driving, I know it's bad).  I tell him to call the Director. My phone was like this for four hours.  Then all the sudden it starts working again. Drives me crazy.

Then just yesterday I turn on Google Maps on my phone.  I swear that app just likes to mess with me. It will send me around the block the wrong way then lead me back around.  When I could have just maybe turned left or something simple. So frustrating!

So it's a trade off Magical Nook for a demonic cell phone.