Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Mary Bailey Book Club

So this blog is inspired by a post I posted on Facebook several days ago about how the movie It's a Wonderful Life would have had a different outcome if it were about Mary Bailey mom of four, married to a middle income bipolar man, renovating a really old house. I told Nick that and he said I should write a musical about that. First off you shouldn't write musical's if you can't sing and second, I don't think I could come up with a WHOLE Broadway hit based on that one comment. BUT I can come up with a blog post and this is it. It came to me this morning on my morning jog (don't be impressed, I just started). Picture Mary Bailey sitting down with her book club after the events of the movie. This is where we start.

"So Mary, what was that whole thing with George last week." Cousin Tilly asks.

"Oh don't even get me started! I swear the man is crazy! He wakes up on top of the world because of Harry's medal of honor and meetin' the president and what not. Comes home down in the dumps about who knows what. Yelling at the kids. They didn't do anything, no one has any idea what's wrong with him.

"I swear the man thinks he's got it SO bad, he complains about never seeing the world. Talk about never seeing the world, at least he gets to go outside. I'm stuck at home with four kids. He complains that all he ever wanted to do was build houses. For crying out loud what is Bailey Park? Houses, that he built. While we live in this dump. Do you know how hard it is to replace these broken windows? That he broke mind you. It's not like I can go down to the nearest store and pick some out and come home. And I've been sanding these floors by hand for decade, I don't think he's even noticed. Not that it's done any good. Zuzu ruined them by continually peeing on them. It's like she's a dog. For crying out loud Zuzu use the bathroom, it's not like we have an outhouse. We do have indoor plumbing!

"You would think the man were deaf in both ears some days. Some times I go up behind his left ear and just whisper how much he drives me crazy. Or that Mother was right and I wished I would have married Sam Wainwright.

"Sometime I want to jab this in your eye" whispered in George's left ear
"Anyway, after freaking out that Zuzu had a cold. George just left the house. I had no idea where he was going. He's been crazy before, but this was scary. So I followed. Of course, he took the car, so I had to go on foot. Because we can't afford two cars and being he's the person who gets to be with adults all day, and I have to stay home with the kids and no car, I set on, on foot to try and find him. The only place I can think of that I go to when I'm upset is Martini's so I went there first. Nick said George was there, had one drink got into a fight and left. REALLY GEORGE! REALLY, one drink and you get into a fight? I mean, the man cannot hold his liquor! One drink! I go out and find the car crashed into a tree. You would think Nick spiked the drink or something. For crying out loud, when I'm at Martini's I can hold down at least 3 shots of tequila and 3 beers before Nick kicks me out. ANYWAY, the car is close to the bridge so I head on over to the bridge thinking maybe he jumped. Then Tom the tollhouse keeper yells at me not to "do it" I'm all like "Tom, you know me better than that, I'll always just look and never jump." and Tom says there was a fella here early that did jump and then there was this old man he saved from drowning. He went to go get the cops because he suspected that the fella was trying to comment suicide, but when he got back they both were gone.

"So now I'm thinking George must really think he's in trouble so I run and tell everyone who owes us from from that run on the bank debacle, figuring they owe us for us not being able to go on our honeymoon. By the time I get home there George is happy as can be again. I swear the man drives me crazy.

You're not going to believe what he says to me last night:
"Mary, Clarence saved my life."
"Clarence? Who's Clarence?"
"My guardian angel"
"George Bailey, I'm the one who saved you. I'm the one who ran around in the snow telling everyone you needed help. I'm the who saved you, no more of this crazy Clarence non-sense."
"I swear I should have him committed, but then I'd be left alone to deal with this craziness. So no way George Bailey, you're staying right here! Mother was right, I should have married Sam Wainwright, except all his "heehaw" drove me crazy. Nope I should have just been a spinster."